Starting a blog was a profoundly strange experience. But, in a world chock-full of some really odd stuff, it seemed to me that it should not be so. Millions of people have already done it, and there are applications, guides, instructional videos, pamphlets, flyers, banner ads, smoke signals, etc. that all cater to this particular medium of expression. I couldn’t place why, exactly, it felt so strange to me until I had gone through the process of setting up WordPress and fiddling with my themes and options. When I first loaded up my page to see what I had wrought, the default post was the (now infinitely tired) “Hello World!” line that everyone sees the moment they try to learn to do anything on a computer, ever. The cliché was deleted with extreme prejudice, but it resonated in my mind long afterwards. It struck me that, unlike someone merely trying to coax QBasic into printing text without initiating automatic self-destruct, I was going to be doing something in (and for) THE WORLD. I was putting something “Out There”. But why? I realized I had no idea why I had this urge to put digital pen to virtual paper, and I would need to investigate this process of blogging.
At face value, blogging seems to be one of the most narcissistic endeavors anyone could undertake. Starting a blog (let alone starting a blog in 2015) is tantamount to walking into a room full of people and shouting HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT ME I AM IMPORTANT I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. Furthermore, in this particular room everyone is already shouting this at each other as loudly as possible while shoving images of their cats and children in each other’s faces. The Internet is just about saturated with the opining of others. So for me, some guy, to just straight up waltz on out here and tell you, THE WORLD, that you should pay attention to ME because what I have to say is somehow unique, important, and different… well that is just unconscionable. Better to delete this whole thing. Sunrise, sunset. But is that really what I am doing? Am I pushing my particular brand on an unwilling audience? The question of “why blog?” is precisely the question of “who is the blogger?”
Well momma didn’t raise no fool, so I won’t be posting my Social Security Number, but I will speak briefly about my motivation. For what is a man, if not what he does and why? I get the impression that many blogs and websites are now constructed to be meticulously vacuous – that is to say nothing but in such a way as to provide something to the author. Profiteering through ad-dollars and analytics. I could write an article called “Top 12 Celebrities Most Likely to Harry Potter an X-Man, Titties!”, append a bunch of tags to the thing, and post links to it all over. The text and metadata will be sequenced and organized by magical digital Google spiders, and they will be presented to those searching for keywords in a wholly formal and logical way. I will generate “hits”. Bandwidth shall be put to task. There is a whole economy that revolves around this sort of thing, and if my motive were to exploit this economy, whether for financial gain, or for the personal satisfaction of watching a counter increase its count, I would say that it is narcissism that moves this beast. But that does not feel right to me, and in my heart it seems to be the reverse. I do not wish to force myself out onto the world so as to exploit it, but rather to draw bits and pieces of the world back to me and conserve it. To make a connection, and in so doing maybe make my experience of the vast, blazing universe a little more homely and familiar. It is not narcissism, but an innate desire for connectedness that motivates me.
Going forward, I would like readers to feel like I “get them”(no, you shut up DAD YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ME), or at least to genuinely consider what it is I have to say, whatever that may end up being. I want to engage others; I am lighting a signal fire so that I might find those who will come to me and share ideas. I want the world to be made smaller for a moment, and I want this to be a source of inspiration for the reader and myself. I want to laugh, and to make you laugh. I want you to love what I say, or really hate it and troll me (though perhaps not relentlessly, if you please). This is not narcissism; it is the fundament of the human person at work. Perhaps there is no greater meaning to expression beyond this: for better or for ill, we wish to engage each other. I want to engage you. So to all you mystery people who may or may not come along, I offer a hearty “Hello”. It is my hope that you will spot this lonely fire amidst a sea of light, and come warm your hands with me.
Oh god I hope that doesn’t come across too weird. Like… is that sexual? I don’t think it is sexual.
#BAZINGA #TWITTERING #TWEETS #ALLTHEFACEBOOKS #THATWEBSITETHATISFORFARMERSDATING #DICKBONERPILLS #TOMBRADYPOOPSEXTAPE.COM